Category Archives: Me…uncensored
I don’t quite know how to express how I’m feeling at the moment, having watched Donald lay his hand on the Bible and reading about how he attended a prayer service before the inauguration. Over the years I’ve been quite vocal on one of my pet hates being people who judge others without knowing their heart, so I’m a bit conflicted by my feelings on this issue.
Mom: you sound off, are you ok?
Me: I’m fine. Just tired. The heat is sapping my energy
Mom: Drink lots of water
(The solution to most problems…)
Me: (i hate water) okk…so I’m thinking what to do for my birthday…
Mom: are you 43 this year?
Me: um no…45…
Me: (you gave birth to me!) yes mom…45…
We all have dreams, big ones, small ones, unrealistic and attainable ones. Old dreams and new dreams and shelved dreams. Broken dreams and dreams so deep they remain unformed. Read the rest of this entry
I opened Facebook today to see this pic…
and so rightly I thought…there must be more!!!!
and so with the help of google and a short while later I found some real gems!!! Read the rest of this entry
Today I woke up knowing that thousands of people around the world were mourning the loss of life. Those who lost friends, family, partners in the unthinkable horror in Paris in a senseless act of violence. Those who lost friends, family, partners in the retaliation that took place in Northern Syria overnight. Those who lost loved ones this weekend to accidents, violence, illness and neglect. Daily there is loss of life and we seem to pick and choose the events that shake us. Those that drive us to change our profile pics, post a status update, retweet a comment or follow a hashtag. Read the rest of this entry
The day I heard my dad had cancer was the same day I completed my final presentation of my 3 year Textile Technology diploma. I remember coming out of the presentation feeling relieved and grateful that the journey was over and I was able to get back to a semi-normal life without working and studying 18hrs a day. I knew my dad was expecting his test results but after 2 years of a negative cancer result I wasn’t too worried. When I was told that it was cancer and the 2 years of back and forward doctor visits were just a delay in treatment I felt angry, then relieved we had a proper diagnosis and then just assumed any treatment would work. My dad was my superhero. Nothing could happen to him. Read the rest of this entry
I you know me well you will know that I’m a grand master level procrastinator. The definition of Procrastinate means to delay or put off something that should be done until the opportunity is lost. I tend however to procrastinate when it’s something I don’t like doing or something I know I can’t do well. I procrastinate because I can’t do it perfectly and then get overwhelmed the larger the problem becomes…I try and overcome this by planning my day to do at least one thing on my list of things to do, but you know how it is…meetings, customer complaints, fires that need putting out, last-minute trips to Johannesburg. These all conspire against my to-do list and the list grows longer and longer.
I have an audit it 4 weeks and my list now looks insurmountable. I realised that there are certain things that continuously distract me from said list and I’m writing them down so that I can recognise them and try to stop myself from doing them and focus on my to-do list! Read the rest of this entry
I don’t know if there’s a perfect bucket list. I have some things on mine and some I’ve already done but in order to not forget the dreams or lose track of the goals and accomplishments I thought I’d pen my list. Would be wonderful to use an old fountain pen and a perfect piece of paper for this list, but a keyboard and blog will have to do. Read the rest of this entry
Tomorrow (22nd September) will be the 4th Anniversary of my dad’s death. I’m sitting here trying to avoid writing this one because some days it’s still too raw. I don’t want to revisit this place of anger. For too long it was the most overwhelming of all emotions. At first when in denial (which you can read more about here) you don’t want to acknowledge the anger. It’s like this silent scream inside building up with nowhere to go. It still creeps up on me every now and then as these stages are emotions and they don’t happen in a linear way. They come and go and bleed into each other. Read the rest of this entry
“You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler
It seems so simple…
Denial; Anger; Bargaining; Depression; Acceptance. Five little words that are supposed to sum up the experience of grief. Read the rest of this entry