Blog Archives

From Paris to Cape Town…with love

Today I woke up knowing that thousands of people around the world were mourning the loss of life. Those who lost friends, family, partners in the unthinkable horror in Paris in a senseless act of violence. Those who lost friends, family, partners in the retaliation that took place in Northern Syria overnight. Those who lost loved ones this weekend to accidents, violence, illness and neglect. Daily there is loss of life and we seem to pick and choose the events that shake us. Those that drive us to change our profile pics, post a status update, retweet a comment or follow a hashtag. Read the rest of this entry

My Journey with God Through Grief: Bargaining 

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The day I heard my dad had cancer was the same day I completed my final presentation of my 3 year Textile Technology diploma. I remember coming out of the presentation feeling relieved and grateful that the journey was over and I was able to get back to a semi-normal life without working and studying 18hrs a day. I knew my dad was expecting his test results but after 2 years of a negative cancer result I wasn’t too worried. When I was told that it was cancer and the 2 years of back and forward doctor visits were just a delay in treatment I felt angry, then relieved we had a proper diagnosis and then just assumed any treatment would work. My dad was my superhero. Nothing could happen to him. Read the rest of this entry

My Journey with God Through Grief: Anger

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Tomorrow (22nd September) will be the 4th Anniversary of my dad’s death. I’m sitting here trying to avoid writing this one because some days it’s still too raw. I don’t want to revisit this place of anger. For too long it was the most overwhelming of all emotions. At first when in denial (which you can read more about here) you don’t want to acknowledge the anger. It’s like this silent scream inside building up with nowhere to go. It still creeps up on me every now and then as these stages are emotions and they don’t happen in a linear way. They come and go and bleed into each other. Read the rest of this entry

My Journey with God Through Grief: Denial

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“You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.” Elisabeth Kübler-Ross & David Kessler

It seems so simple…

Denial; Anger; Bargaining; Depression; Acceptance. Five little words that are supposed to sum up the experience of grief. Read the rest of this entry

My Journey with God Through Grief: Intro

I’m a Christian. I have been for many years…around 30 to be more precise. Most of my journey as a Christian has been hopeful, trusting, questioning, solid, rooted in an unshakeable belief that no matter what, God will always provide, always do what’s best for me and no matter the crisis, circumstances or relationship, God will make it all work out for my good…

Naïve maybe. Or just confident in my God and childlike in my faith. Issues that others wrestled with around doctrine and values were simple for me. My relationship with God was and is based in Love and acceptance. My favourite verse is and always will be 1 Corinthians 13 vs 13

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love

Christianity to me is simple…Love God, Love each other (fellow Christians), Love your neighbours, Love your enemies, Love yourself as God has loved you.

Religion however is complex and twisted and not always believable (that’s a story for another post), but Love!…I can believe in Love. A love that sacrificed for me. A love that redeems my dark places. Read the rest of this entry

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