It’s called a Midlife Crisis

Mom: you sound off, are you ok?

Me: I’m fine. Just tired. The heat is sapping my energy

Mom: Drink lots of water

(The solution to most problems…)

Me: (i hate water) okk…so I’m thinking what to do for my birthday…

Mom: are you 43 this year?

Me: um no…45…

Mom: Really?

Me: (you gave birth to me!) yes mom…45…

Me: Wondering what it’s all about really…what have I done in the last 15 years…besides study and work…and then you die. And what happens to all the stuff I have? What’s the point?

Mom: (Laughing) oh my darling…you know what you’re going through? It’s called a Midlife crisis

Me: Really?

Mom: Yes, we all go through it

Me: (So I’m not unique and special and deeply introspective)

Mom: Have you had your hormones checked

Me: (sigh)

So my mother has summed up my horrendous 2016 by attaching a cliched term…MIDLIFE CRISIS…

And sadly it all makes sense…

The year of low confidence, questioning my purpose in life, career goals, relationships and the dissatisfaction of the status quo now has a name.

I’ve always thought of men only having a midlife crisis and women going through menopause but I’m learning that midlife crisis hits us all. It’s that time of life when you look back and wonder what the purpose of it all is? What have you achieved versus what were your dreams. And the grey hairs start to appear and your concealer no longer hides the wrinkles and age spots. Middle age spread hits and no matter how much you reduce those carbs or curb the sugar, you can’t get rid of that belly roll…(ok so it may have something to do with the chips, biscuits, wine and movie night popcorn).

Hopefully all of this will even out and I’ll have my mother’s hot body at 67…but until then I promise to keep the tattoos and piercings to a minimum…

Fortunately I don’t have the finances for a Harley or Ferrari…And Download will have to wait till 2020 at this rate!